Script

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We see ninjas running and doing calisthenics.

James: Ninjas?
Tanaka: The art of concealment and surprise, Bond-san.

Tanaka and Aki take James on a tour. We see men practicing martial arts, fighting with swords and sticks, and throwing metal stars.

James: This must develop very fast reflex actions.
Tanaka: And spiritual strength.

We see one ninja fight, like, eight other ninjas.

Tanaka: Now, we will see some modern ninjas.

They head into one of the castle training rooms.

Tanaka: My plan is this. I make a base on the Ama Island. 100 of my ninjas will slide in unseen. They will be workers and fishermen.
James: What about me?
Tanaka: Later. But for the moment, these will interest you. Rocket guns. Very powerful. See the little holes in the back for jet propulsion.

Tanaka demonstrates by firing at a straw dummy, which explodes in flames.

James: It’s a fine gun.
Tanaka: All rocket guns. This is our special baby rocket. It’s very useful for people who smoke too many cigarettes, like you.

Tanaka holds one of the rocket cigarettes to his lips and Aki lights it. He aims, and the rocket blows the head off a wooden target nearby.

Tanaka: Accurate up to 30 yards.
James: Very neat.
Tanaka: It can save your life, this cigarette.
James: You sound like a commercial.

The three of them head back outdoors.

James: Now what’s the plan for me?
Tanaka: First, you become a Japanese. Second, you train hard and quickly to become a ninja like us. And third, to give you extra-special cover, you take a wife.

James stops in confusion and looks at Aki. She grins and sighs and moves to take his hand.

Tanaka: Regretfully impossible. You must marry Ama girl. One who is known on the island.
James: Is she pretty?
Tanaka: She has a face like a pig.
James: To hell with that idea.
Aki: But this is duty.
Tanaka: The girl I have chosen is an agent of mine. But first, you must become Japanese.

Scene: quasi-futuristic Ninja beauty parlor

Aki and several girls go to work on James.

Aki: Eyepieces to Hera.

Rubber eyepieces are placed on his eyelids. A Japanese wig is put over his hair. James’s towel is pulled down, and the girls move on him with cut lemons. (I have no idea what for.)

James: Why don’t you just dye the parts that show?

The girls all laugh and being rubbing him with the lemons.

Scene: James’s guest cottage that night

Aki is waiting in bed as James enters in his new Japanese garb. He bows to her.

James: Konbanwa.
Aki: Konbanwa.

James joins her in the bed as she turns out the light.

Aki: Tiger said, from now on, you must do everything Japanese-style.
James: Everything?

She nods.

James: Good for Tiger.

They kiss (and presumably more). Later that night, we see an assassin climb in through their cottage roof. When he is directly above them, he unwinds a string and lowers it to James’s mouth. Then he pours poison down the string. It slowly drips down closer and closer to James. At the last minute, James rolls over and Aki snuggles up against him. Thus the poison drips into her mouth. She swallows a drop, and then begins to gasp. James immediately wakes and sees the assassin trying to escape. He fires twice and shoots the guy down. James checks that he’s dead.

Aki: (gasping) I’m…

James rushes to her side.

Aki: I…. I….
James: Aki!
Aki: I’m…

She dies. Tanaka arrives, having heard the shots.