“The Pig”

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Plot Description

Spoiler warning! In England once there lived a very clever pig. He could do math problems in his head and he’d read every book. He knew a lot of things, but he didn’t know what LIFE was really all about. “What was the reason for his birth? / Why was he placed upon this earth?” Eventually the pig figured out the answer: he existed for people to eat. He would be turned into bacon and ham and sausages. “Such thoughts as these are not designed / To give a pig great peace of mind.” So the next day when Farmer Bland came to feed the pig, the pig based him on the head with a mighty roar. Then the pig proceeded to eat up every bit of the farmer. He felt no remorse. “I had a fairly powerful hunch / That he might have me for his lunch, / And so, because I feared the worst, / I thought I’d better eat him first.”