Script

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Scene: Back at the garage in the morning, William lies on the floor while Doc Spencer calls for an ambulance.

Doc: Yes. (He looks at Danny, who sits near his father.) Well, they’re on their way. (He gently touches William’s foot, who winces.) Oh sorry. You really ought to take something for the pain, you know.
William: (Drinking tea.) This’ll do me.
Doc: Well, we can be too stoical, you know. Hmmm. Bloody awful man, Hazell. (Embarrassed.) Oh, sorry, Dan. You didn’t hear that. Absolutely appalling. I mean, you could’ve been killed, you know. Oh yes, you could! You could. And… good heavens, I was thinking of popping up to the woods myself one of these nights. (Danny looks up surprised.) Oh no, it’s disgraceful, that’s the thing. That’s really disgraceful.

Sergeant Samways rides up to the garage on his bike.

Doc: Ah-ha.
Samways: Morning, William.
William: Morning, Enoch.
Samways: Danny.
Danny: Morning.
Samways: Doc.
Doc: Morning, Sergeant.
Samways: (Parks his bike and comes to look at William’s ankle.) Ooh. That do look nasty. Is it broken? (William nods.) Ah. We’ve had a complaint from Mr. Lord God Almighty Hazell.
William: Oh yes?
Samways: Yes, he’s got some idea in his head that you was up in his woods last night poaching his pheasants and that you might have broken your ankle. (Danny and William look concerned.) So I’m afraid I gotta take a statement. (Pulls out his notebook.) Right then. Can you account for your whereabouts last night? (William thinks for a minute, but before he can speak, Samways continues.) The suspect replied that he was ‘at home all night.’ (William looks up surprised, while Doc gives Samways an approving smile.) Now, how do you account for the fact that your ankle is broken? The suspect replied that he broke it ‘haccidental, falling down the steps of his caravan’. (William smiles at Samways.)
Doc: That’s very good. Very good. (We hear an engine.)
Samways: That’ll be your ambulance, doctor.

William is put onto a gurney and lifted into the ambulance.

William: Don’t worry, my love. I’ll be back tonight.
Danny: Good luck, Dad.

Danny and his father wave at each other as the ambulance drives off.

Doc: Well done, Sergeant. (Reassuring Danny, who is crying a little.) They’ll just set the bone and plaster him up. He’ll be as right as rain.
Samways: Right, I’ll be off now then.

Sergeant Samways rides off.

Scene: Later that day, Danny puts away supplies in the garage while the rain falls.

A taxi pulls up and William and the doctor climb out. William’s got a cast on his left foot with a metal bar sticking out beneath. He’s walking with a cane.

Doc: Now wait. Easy, there, easy.
Danny: (Running to him.) Dad, are you all right?
William: I’m all right, my love. A bit woozy. (They help him towards the office.)
Danny: I got up at two!
William: Oh, two…

A horn is heard, and Hazell’s Rolls Royce pulls up. He climbs out, along with the two keepers.

Hazell: I’m getting wet, Rabbetts! (One of the keepers runs around and holds up an umbrella over him.) So, we fell down our own stairs, did we?
Doc: Now look here. You listen to me–
Hazell: No, you listen to me. Do you think I don’t know what’s going on here? You think I don’t know you’re all in this together? What do you take me for? I’m warnin’ you, Smith. You trespass on my land again, you’re gonna get shot.
Doc: Who the devil do you think you are? (Poking Hazell in the chest.) Just because you’ve got a little bit of money you think you’ve got the right to, to–
Hazell: Shut up, will you! Did you hear me, Smith?
William: At the moment, Mr. Hazell, you’re on my land. You have one minute to get off it. Come on, Doc.

William, Danny, and Doc head for the caravan while Hazell and the keepers go back to the car.

2nd Keeper: Summons the beggar, Sir!
Hazell: Nah, I wanna catch him red-handed.
2nd Keeper: Yes, that’s all very well, Sir, but he ain’t gonna try it again!
Hazell: Of course he will! He won’t be able to resist it! He’ll risk anything to get even with me. And when we get him, boys, we’ll see what he’ll take for this precious garage of his. (Laughs as he gets in the car.)

Scene: In the caravan, Danny lights the lamp while William and Doc have a drink. The Doc drinks his whiskey and coughs.

William: Better?
Doc: Much better. You know, that fellow… He really ought to be… Yes, I mean, he ought to be… Well, he ought to be…
William: He will be. I’ll see to that.
Doc: Well, a lovely tea, Danny. Thank you. (Pulls out some pills from his pocket.) And now, William, this is to make you sleep.
William: Oh, no no no. No, honestly.
Doc: Oh, yes, yes yes, honestly. Straight to bed, too.
Danny: (Takes the pills to his father.) Go on, Dad.
William: All right, then. (He swallows the pills.)