17 May 1989
Hello gorgeous Amy and all the clever children in the 5th grade at Queen of Angela School. Thank you so much for your letters.
My teacher wasn’t half as nice as yours seems to be.
His name was Mister Unsworth and he taught us history,
And when you didn’t know a date he’d get you by the ear
And start to twist while there you sat quite paralysed with fear.
He’d twist and twist and twist your ear and twist it more and more,
Until at last the ear came off and landed on the floor.
Our class was full of one-eared boys, I’m certain there were eight,
Who’d had them twisted off because they didn’t know a date.
So let us know praise teachers who today are all so fine
And yours in particular is totally divine.
With love from,