“The Nurse’s Song”

Sections: Information | Plot Description



Spoiler warning! Miss Tibbs, the Vice President (and the President’s nurse), sings this song about the President. She talks about toilet training him when he was a baby and bathing him. When he was 23, it dawned on her that he wasn’t very bright, as he couldn’t read or write. His parents feared that he’d never get a job. Miss Tibbs thought he’d make a great politician, though. She taught him how to win the people’s vote and make speeches where you never say what you mean. She also taught him the importance of having good teeth and keeping your fingers clean. “And now that I am eighty-nine, / It’s too late to repent. / The fault was mine the little swing / Became the President.”