“Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves”

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Plot Description

Spoiler warning! Ali Baba, a decent Arab gentleman, is urinating on a tree next to a cliff when he sees forty thieves and plunderers ride up. The leader shouts “Open Sesame!” and the mighty rockface opens wide for them to enter. Al realizes that he has learned a very secret magic word that will open up any door. Instead of robbing a bank, Al decides to use his power for fun. He heads to London to the Ritz Hotel. Walking down the first floor corridor, Al uses his word to open each door and see what’s going on inside. He sees all sorts of shocking things, like people in their underwear and a goat asleep in a bed. “What’s wrong,” he gasps, “with all these guys? / The rich have most peculiar habits, / Less like humans, more like rabbits!” Soon the people in the rooms realize that their doors have been opened and they pour into the corridor shouting. The scene is reduced to chaos as loads of naked posh people scream and run about. Ali Baba leaves the hotel feeling swell. “But wait!” he cries out as he leaves. / “What’s happened to the Forty Thieves? / I clean forgot to put them in! / Oh well,” he murmurs with a grin, / “Who cares? Not me. What’s done is done. / I really can’t please everyone.”