Theater

"A Question of Taste" Libretto

TOM
No man is rich who's not in love.
When love's in the eye, it lets us see
The things we guessed but didn't know.
Never before have I felt so sure
As now in your arms, my love.

Our wealth is our love.
Come, no more delay.
Come, our hearts will find their way.
No more each alone.
Why should we postpone
Any longer the day
We'll each of us own
What no one can give,
No one take away.

LOUISE
When love's in the eye, it lets us see
The things we guessed but didn't know.
Never before have I felt so free
As now in your eyes,
As now in your heart,
Your arms, my love.

TOM & LOUISE
Our wealth is our love.
Come, no more delay.
Come, our hearts will find their way.
No more each alone.
Why should we postpone
Any longer the day
We'll each of us own
What no one can give,
No one take away.
The time has come at last to sing
Of love within a golden ring.

MRS. SCHOFIELD
Louise! Louise! Our guest of honor is here.
Oh, there you are, Tom.

TOM
I've something important to say, Ma'am.
You see, I want to--

MRS. SCHOFIELD
Thomas, might I suggest
That we put this aside?
At dinner parties
"Important" matters
Are best left unexpressed.

And I'm sure my daughter agrees.
Don't you, Louise?

LOUISE
But Mother--

MRS. SCHOFIELD
Louise?

LOUISE
Yes, Mother.

MRS. SCHOFIELD
The table looks very nice.
Is everything ready in the kitchen, Missus Hudson?

MRS. HUDSON
Sarah's in there now, Ma'am.
Everything is in hand.
Well, almost everything.

TOM
Good evening, Mister Schofield.

MR. SCHOFIELD
Oh, there you are, Tom.
I'll bet Louise is glad to see you.

TOM
In fact, sir, that's what I'd like to say--

MR. SCHOFIELD
Yes, Tom, you'll be glad you came tonight.
We've a treat in store.
An "education in taste."

MRS. SCHOFIELD
In fact, where is our guest, my dear?

MR. SCHOFIELD
There's been a small accident, I fear.
Mister Pratt has spilled his aperitif.
A bit of his sleeve has come to grief.
And remember those eyeglasses he had in his hand?
Coated with sherry, you understand.
So he's just gone upstairs
For some minor repairs.
He insisted that I go ahead.
He knows the way, he said.

Louise, my dear, I was going to say
We have with us tonight
The formidable Phillisto Pratt,
President of the Epicure Club,
A gourmet's gourmet,
I asked him to dine,
And taste an extraordinary wine.
(And, lest we forget,
Place a small bet.)

No man in town
Knows more about wines,
Their subtleties,
Secrets,
Tapestries
Of colors, perfumes, tastes.
Ah, Mister Pratt. Come in, come in.
You've met Tom,
And surely you remember my daughter Louise.

PRATT
I've thought of little else
Since last we met.
The brightest shooting star
One can't forget.
And not to have caught it is
My only regret.
I've thought of you.
Dreamt of you,
Wakened to find
The thought of you there,
Still in my mind.

MR. SCHOFIELD
Shall we dine?
No meal can be called complete
If there's nothing you'd say was a treat.
What's wanted,
What's needed is wine.
Then a man may be said
Not merely to eat but truly to dine.

The Bible tells us
The best wine is saved for last.
I've a bottle of claret for you, Mister Pratt,
One of the great years,
But very obscure.
I'll just go and fetch it.
It's where you once advised me to keep it,
On top of the green cabinet in my study,
An even temperature, protected from drafts. It's in there now, breathing.
What say, Pratt?
Are you ready for another little bet?
Twice before you've outsmarted me,
Twice guessed the vintage, twice won the bet.
But I think that this one will stump even you.
No connoisseur in town would have a clue.
Are you game?

PRATT
The youngest grapes hang
So gleaming, so sleek,
Like topaz earrings
Against a pale cheek.

The truth is, my dear,
The very best wines
All come from the worst,
The oldest of vines.

Their sad, shriveled grapes
Will yield, with great care,
Exquisite delights
Beyond all compare.

SCHOFIELD
Here now! You'll never name this one!
Not in a hundred years!

PRATT
From one of the smaller vineyards, I assume.

SCHOFIELD
Maybe it is. And maybe not.

PRATT
But it is one of the great years?

SCHOFIELD
Oh yes, I guarantee that.

PRATT
Then it shouldn't prove too difficult.

SCHOFIELD
Oh but this one's impossible, I assure you.
I won't even force you to bet.

PRATT
My dear Schofield, I'll bet with pleasure,
If that is your wish.

SCHOFIELD
The usual bet, then? A case of the wine itself?

PRATT
Would you care to bet more?
Let's say, fifty cases?

SCHOFIELD
That would be silly.

PRATT
So you don't wish to increase the bet at all?

SCHOFIELD
I don't give a damn. I'll bet anything you like.

PRATT
Anything I like?

SCHOFIELD
Anything. You name it. Whatever you like.

MRS. SCHOFIELD
Stop all this nonsense, dear.
Your dinner's getting cold.

PRATT
It's just a little wager between friends.
And I'll tell you now what I wish you to bet.

SCHOFIELD
Come on. You'll never win. I don't give a damn what it is How much?

PRATT
I want you to bet me the hand of your daughter in marriage.

LOUISE
This is absurd!
The most ludicrous,
Ridiculous
Proposal I've ever heard.

You can't bet on a life.
You cant bid for a wife.